worth it

This past weekend I turned 24.  It feels pretty darn old.

Since when did the phrase, "I'm married and have a baby on the way" become a part of my vocabulary?  

Oh right, somewhere around May 15th...

Growing older is so much fun.  I love my life now more than I ever have.  I feel so much gratitude for the things in my life at this time.  

my husband

my baby

my family

my mother

my job

my home

my health

my testimony

my time

my freedom

my savior

However, the past 6 months have not been so easy.

My parents divorced in April this year after 26 years of marriage.  It has been a trial that has come with an enormous amount of pain and sadness.

I can say however, that it has in turn strengthened my own marriage and urged me to look deeper in to my relationship.

For the past six months John and I have been living with my mother in her beautiful country home.

It has been such a blessing to us and to her.  At first it was extremely difficult to make the transition from just the two of us (me and Mr. Murphy) to adding a third person to our home life.  Granted, this third person was some one whom I cared deeply for and loved with all of my heart, it was still very hard.  I wasn't very happy about the situation and felt that I had lost so much by moving back home.  I felt like I was less of a wife and that I didn't have my own space.  Our freedom had changed.

I have since then come to realize that I didn't loose anything.

I gained more than I could have ever expected.

I am overwhelmed with thanks that we are where we are at this time.  I feel so happy that I get to have this sliver of time here with my mother.  I know that she won't always be around and I am so lucky that I get to spend my days with her.  She is going to be such an incredible grandmother to our baby EJ and we are forming even stronger bonds now that will last the rest of eternity. 

My heart is full.

(pictures from my birthday date this past weekend with my mother.  the day included shopping, steak and shake, meeting and talking to wonderful strangers, and heart speaking to heart)