I don't have many quiet moments in my day. But right now I am listening to the sound of my dishwasher going and clothes in the dryer and the static of the monitors. Both of my babies are sleeping and I just sat down to fold a load of clothes. My husband is upstairs working away and everything here is so hushed and calm. It's dreary and dim outside as a storm is looming in the afternoon. I feel like these days at home with my babies are so sheltered. We live in a sacred little bubble here in our home. We don't really get out much except for the occasional play date and the days I'm feeling brave enough to conquer the grocery store with two little ones. I love being at home with my children. I can feel that my soul has grown sensitive to this simple life. Right now our world feels so untouched.
Well here we are. I've blinked and half of the year has gone by. I just can't imagine life without you. You are such a consuming little human being, in the best way possible. I just want to stare at you and see your flirty little side smiles all day long.
You will most likely crawl this week or next, you keep pushing up on to your hands and knees.
You are obsessed with Evaleigh, you want to watch everything she does.
You love when I sing to you it makes you smile and stop what you are doing.
Last week you randomly started taking a paci, that's weird. Your sister never ever took one and neither did you until now. You love it!
You are starting to level out with your growth. You are 20 pounds and 27 inches, still big but not as shocking as before.
You adore your father, as soon as he enters the room you want all of his attention. And you get it.
April 7- from the back seat on the way home from pawpaws with Bekah. The kids were having so much fun we didn't bother with feeding them a lot of dinner. She was still hungry and must have been thinking about eating. We hear Evaleigh say, "I like food."
While praying April 13th she said ,"thank you for Jesus water." She was thanking Heavenly Father for the sacrament.
That same Sunday she learned Gordon b Hinckleys name and could point him out in the book I've been reading.
Evie has been wanting to wear my fake blonde hair piece that I bought for our wedding 4 years ago. She will run to the bathroom yelling 'long hair long hair long hair!' And get it out of the cabinet . I keep it in a big plastic ziplock. When I got it out of the bag for her the other day she sighed in excitement and said, "gorgeous!!"
When we ask her question she will think about it for a minute and then in a high inflection respond, "um...yes!"
Everytime she greets us she says, "well, hi!"
She will wake john up in the mornings ever so sweetly by touching his face and requesting to go downstairs. She will wait patiently and is so sweet in the mornings.
She hates to have pigtails but her hair is finally really growing, but most of the time with Shake her head and tell me "no pigtails mommy!"
Throughout the day she will say, "I love you and I love brother and I love daddy. I'm happy and mommy is happy and daddy is happy and brother is happy."
We took her to Chuck-e-cheese two days ago and she keeps saying, "I need to go back. I want to go back to Chuck-e-cheese!"
Yesterday we were sharing some 'special juice' (juiced spinach, celery, apple, and lime). I asked her if she lived with Heavenly Father before she came to live with me and daddy. She said, "yes, Heavenly Father. I did."
And as I'm typing this she is putting her Barbie's hands on the keyboard and she says, "Barbie is working."
And as I'm typing this she is putting her Barbie's hands on the keyboard and she says, "Barbie is working."
Today has been a super day. I woke up early and went to a bodystep class at 8am and then to the grocery to get some teething tablets and diaper cream. I had been thinking of making some changes to my hair and going red has been one of those things on my bucketlist for quite some time. Since I was childless I took a little extra time and found my self in the hairdye aisle. I found a shade I liked and thought, "why not?" So I came home and dyed it all before the first session of general conference started. After Evie saw me she said, "Ooooh princess hair mommy!" That has got to be the best compliment. So, here are way too many pictures of my new hair.
There is something else on my heart I'd like to share. A couple weeks ago a man came to our church and spoke. The topic of his talk was "Unapologetically Christian". Since then I have not been able to get that phrase out of my mind. I've been wondering what I can do better in my life to adopt that motto and apply it to the way I live and go through my days. So I'll just share a few things.
This weekend is a special weekend for members of my church all around the world. I'm sure most of you who read this blog know that I am a Mormon. My faith is such a big part of me and has helped me to cultivate a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ and has brought me so much joy in my life so far.
So twice a year we have General Conference and our prophet Thomas S Monson speaks to us, 15 million Mormons all around the world, as well as the apostles and other leaders of our church. This is such a unique opportunity because we can hear what the living prophet has to say to us and what The Lord wants us to know about our day.
I look forward to these all year and they are such a strength and nourishment to my soul and spirit. Today there were 3 incredible sessions of conference and tomorrow there are two more.
I would like to invite anyone and everyone I know to watch these conference sessions and see if they bring a peace and good spirit in to your heart. Hearing from the prophet and his apostles has changed my life for the better and has encouraged me to live a happy and meaningful life.
If you are interested in that for yourself the sessions are from 12-2 and 4-6 eastern time. You can go to lds.org to watch it live!
About two and a half months ago I was sitting in the living room on the couch watching Avett kick around on the floor while Evaleigh walked around playing with different toys. I was having a breather from the crazy day and I'm sure I looked pretty checked out. My two year old came up to me, looked in to my eyes, pushed my phone in to my hand and said, "Phone, mama."
It was a turning point for me.
It was a moment where I realized that she was much more knowing than I thought. All of those times where I was aimlessly scrolling facebook or instagram throughout the quiet moments in the day someone had been watching. To know that she noticed it was odd for me not to have my phone in my hands at all times was heartbreaking. I felt an instant sweep of guilt and knew that I needed to make some changes.
As someone who enjoys blogging and sharing bits and pieces of our lives on the Internet, social media has really become quite a part of my every day routine. I have seen its positive and negative effects in my life. I have become friends with a community of people who I respect and admire. I've come in contact with people who I seek out their opinions and rely on for support. I have been blessed to share many special things from our lives and have enjoyed people rejoicing with us.
But I will admit, with a hint of shame, that I am known to put more effort than should be given in to taking the perfect picture for my instagram feed or staging something that is not exactly natural just because I think it will get a good response. I find enjoyment in capturing beautiful things but in exchange I have often intruded on sacred moments of my kid's childhoods.
Obviously as a mother I want to capture every thing my kids do and preserve it so I'll have it to look back on when they are older. Infanthood and toddlerhood is such a special time. Having those moments frozen through pictures are priceless to me and I find myself staring at those pictures mere minutes after my children have gone to bed. Their childhood seems so fleeting that I feel an urgency and anxiousness to capture it and immortalize it so I'll have it for years to come.
I had a moment back in January when it snowed and I was outside with Evaleigh for her first snow. I kept pointing my phone at her face and telling her, "Smile, smile, smile, make a funny face. Evie look at mommy!" She put her hand up and said, "No picture mommy." I was a little embarrassed and realized that what was more important in that moment was letting her experience snow for the first time and me to experience it with her.
Throughout most days I would wander from room to room following my daughter while holding my son and juggling anything else I was trying to carry while holding my phone too. I realized it had become a natural extension of my hand. I would look for it frantically when I couldn't see it, almost like it was a third child I had to keep close. Checking my phone had become a habit instead of a help. It was an addiction and not a simple device.
I have noticed device dependency more and more in our society. It is evident in probably every public place we go. I see it at play dates, family get-togethers, restaurants, my own home, and even stop lights. It's no secret that smart phones and hand held devices have revolutionized the way we exchange information and have it readily acessable at our fingertips. There are so many positives to this advancement and I can testify that I have absolutely benefited personally from those changes. But I have also suffered from them. I wonder how many moments I may have missed out on because I had my head hung down in a phone screen. How many people have been ignored or tuned out because of this 'luxury of technology'?
I'm so grateful to my husband who is much smarter than me. About three weeks ago I was so frustrated with myself and I was ready to sell my iphone and go to a simple flip phone. After spilling to him my desires and feelings about technology and it's influence in our lives he suggested I continue to keep my phone and just set limits for myself. He said that instead of completely eliminating the phone that I should give my chance the opportunity to succeed and that if I did so I would feel so much better about myself. So I did. I came up with a plan to set aside a spot for my phone and to leave it there on silent throughout the day. I taped a piece of paper to the bar and drew a spot for my phone to sit.
So far I have experienced many more meaningful and productive days.
Our days before were filled with some phoneless moments and memory making but these new boundaries have enhanced the good that we have and have eliminated an unnecessary distraction in my life.
I suppose it all comes down to priorities. My battle with technology leads to finding a balance. Will it be a text or time? Facebook or face to face? A picture or a private moment? Sharing or experiencing?