Plump and Juicy

This week I resumed some much needed baking.

Baking is like therapy to me.

Not to get all Julie and Julia here, but I love knowing that If I grab the right spatula its going to do exactly the thing that I want it to.

If I add a dash of vanilla to anything, it will instantly be delicious.

I love that the sound of the Kitchen-aid gearing up sends my heart pumping.

I love creating something outside of myself and then watching other people enjoy it.

Friday I went with my dear friend Lisa to pick berries at Adam's Farm. We went for the blackberries, which I came home with.  In addition to the 5 pints of blackberries I also got 6 pints of blueberries, local blueberry syrup and sweet and hot vidalia onion chow-chow!  I don't even know what it is but it looked snazzy, so I grabbed a jar.

(these are some of the fresh berries I picked with my own little hands)

As I was sitting underneath one of the blueberry trees with my berry filled bucket I was dreaming of jams, pies, homemade blueberry pancakes,and the look on John's face when I presented each of these items to him.

The farm was a magical place.  When the wind blew it carried sweet aromas of berries to my nose.  Although I must say, it felt like I was soaking in the fresh smell through every pore on my body.  It was early in the morning and the blueberry trees were still covered in their chalky white dew.  It was a dear time to me and I was taught something there in the blueberry trees.  

I had never seen the way that a blueberry tree was harvested before.  Each tiny berry had a stem of it's own and each tiny berry had to be picked on its own. I had always wondered why the price of berries was so high.  Its because each berry requires tenderness, caution, and individual care when it is plucked from the tree.  If not, they can be crushed when plucked in a bunch.  If not, they can fall to the ground when plucked in a bunch.  There was no fast and easy way for it to be done.  

It reminded me of the human soul.

We likewise, require so much personal love and attention.  We are all individuals that need to feel special.  We need to feel important.  Our price is so high because we are worth so much.  We have so much potential and promise.  I am so grateful for that lesson I learned there at Adam's Farm.

So, when I got home I decided to start with the Blueberry Pie since it wouldn't be my first rodeo with that.  I started making it last night around 9 o'clock and it wasn't finished til a bit after midnight.

I used this tutorial to do the lattice crust.  Next time I'll cut thicker strips but I still think it turned out great!

Speaking of plump and juicy, husband has been just that lately.  No, that's not a fat joke.  Since I have been preggs he has been an unusually and fantastically stellar hubs. Its amazing how our love continues to grow deeper and deeper.  I love marriage so much.  And blueberry pie...






***I have been overwhelmed with some incredibly sincere and soul-touching messages regarding my last post.  I can't tell you the good that they have all done to my heart.  I am so grateful for the love and support of the blogging community as well as my personal friends and family.  Please know that I will respond to each one of you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.***

Choosing Happiness

I am choosing to end a rut today.

I am choosing gratitude.

I am choosing happiness.

I have been horribly sad the past few months. I haven't talked about this much but 2 months ago in April, my parents divorced.  It was a huge surprise to me.  After 26 years of marriage everything came to an end.

It has been an incredibly difficult thing for me to wrap my head around.  I have spent many tear filled hours trying to understand why life turns out the way it does.

I suppose it all comes down to our choices.

We all have within ourselves the power to choose.  

I can choose to eat jello for all 3 meals of the day.  I can choose to go to the antique mall 3 times in one week.  I can choose to do my laundry or to let it sit.  I can choose to take 15 minutes to have a meaningful conversation with someone or I can let the moment pass me by.  I can choose to be happy or I can choose to give way to my negative emotions.

Today I am going to choose to be happy.

I am going to try to understand why the Lord has put me where I am at this time.  John and I have moved in with my mother to help her out during this hard time.  We are living the home that I grew up in. 

Even though we know this is where we are supposed to be right now, I haven't exactly been the easiest person to live with.

I have been sulking around and complaining that I don't have a place of my own.  I have felt like less of a wife.  I have been so much less productive.  I haven't been cooking or taking pride in my own little area of the house.  I have been sad to have left our friends and life in Atlanta.  I have been being so negative.

I can't believe how ungrateful I have been.

I need to focus on the blessings of this situation.

Because we are living here I am able to see my wondeful mother everyday.

Because we are living here we are living rent free.

Because we are here we are able to save money and work to get out of the small debts that we have.

Because we are living here we are able to enjoy candle lit evenings on the porch.

Because we are here we have a snugly puppy to make us laugh and smile.

Because we are here I can look in to the lightening bug glitter filled woods in our back yard.

Because we are living here it has become possible for us to have our baby!!

I am going to try to make this place my home again.  

I am going to reclaim my wifely duties and start doing the things that I enjoy again.

I am going to wake up each morning with a resolve to choose happiness.

(This picture really has nothing to do with this post except that John Murphy sure does make it easier to be happy.  That and we went to the Glenn Murphy Ranch last weekend for Father's Day.  I love my happy ranching husband.)

1+1=3 : The most magical of math equations

I haven't blogged in quite some time.  

I have been busy growing a tiny person.

John Murphy and I made a baby.

It is ours and that fact soothes my soul and vibrates my heart with love and gratitude every single day.

Last month after we came home from my brother's wedding in Hilton Head my sister and her husband were outside shooting off some illegal fireworks we had picked up in South Carolina.  I went up stairs to grab a hoodie, I got distracted, and for no particular reason...I decided to take a pregnancy test. (I had two boxes stored up in the bathroom for funsies)

When the digital test popped up "Pregnant", I almost fell off of the toilet. Literally.

The next few minutes were a blur.  I ran downstairs and beckoned John to come upstairs with me.  We both stood at the bathroom counter and stared at the test in silence.

I was totally shocked and also a bit skeptical.

We jumped for joy in the bathroom and embraced each other while we were full of smiles, some tears, and questions.  It was one of those moments that you could always imagine how it would feel but then when you are there, living that moment, it is so much better than you ever expected.

We kept it a secret for that night.  It was just between the two of us and I loved that.  I loved looking over at him in the room full of our family and him shooting me a smile.  I knew just what that smile meant, "We are having a baby.  We made something together. You are going to be a mother and I am going to be a father."  I will never forget that night.

Or course like any woman, I took about 6 tests to make sure.  I carried the tests around in my purse for 3 weeks and I would look at them almost any free moment I had. I know, I know....pee sticks in my purse? For 3 weeks?!

I can't wait to meet this little person.  

When I saw our babe's heartbeat for the first time, tears filled my eyes.  It is such a miracle to make something so special with the person you love the most in the whole world.

Here is baby's first film strip.  If you look close enough in the second picture you can see two little dots that are the arms and two little dots that are the feet. Oh, and a really huge head (I guess our baby is going to be super smart).  

It may look like a little smudge, but its the cutest little smudge I have ever seen.

I am so overwhelmed with joy right now. 
I'm growing a sassy little babe that I made with the man I love.