I woke up this morning feeling a little bit like crap.
We have been cosleeping with Evaleigh since she was probably 6 weeks old. I always put her to sleep around 7:30 by nursing her in our bed. I move her to her crib for the first part of the night while John and I can hang out and then when we are going to bed she normally wakes up around midnight and I feed her and she goes back to sleep with us.
Bedtime has always been so easy and it takes her about 5 minutes and she is OUT! I love snuggling that little girl while we sleep. I love holding her hand while we sleep. I love to closeness I feel to her. I love waking up right next to that smiling face. I even love feeling her wiggles every once in a while. Everything about it has been wonderful.
Except that I have started sleeping worse. (mostly just in the last month due to EJ's chubby little 95th percentile body. She likes to sprawl out all of her limbs now) I have to sleep in a modified position to accommodate this little thing and now I have body discomfort to the max and I am not as well rested. I love cosleeping and so has John. It has been the best choice for us. If it were up to me I would let her stay in bed with us til she went off to college. But then she might not ever have anymore siblings...
The past three nights i have tried only nursing her in the rocker in the nursery and then putting her back in her crib and it's been great. Then last night it all fell a part. I decided to try a modified cry it out method I had read about. When I put her back in her crib I did it when she was still a little sleepy so she could try to put her self back to sleep. This has worked several times before. Then she started crying.
Here is where the modified part comes in. Instead out flat out letting her cry it out alone we let her cry 10 minutes then go reassure her she isn't alone by touching her and talking to her but not picking her up. It was torture. I have never let her cry that long. So after 10 minutes I went in and saw her little tear soaked face, let her know I loved her and tried to calm her down for a minute. Then I went back to bed for another 10 minute stretch. Seeing me made her cry even harder. So we waited 10 more minutes. John was coaching me through it the whole time. Both our hearts were just breaking! He was finally the one who said, "I can't take it, I don't care if she sleeps in the bed!". So he went and got her and she whimpered for a few minutes in his arms. Have we traumatized our baby?? Or does she already know she has us wrapped around her finger?
I need help. Suggestions. Something else, because cry it out isn't for us. What has worked for you parents who have tried to sleep train? Is there a way that is less extreme? I want to get good rest but I also want to meet the needs of my baby....
