number 3

I'll never forget the few hours after Avett was born.  I was overwhelmed and amazed at what my body had just done, and done so well! I was enraptured by my plump perfect 10 pound boy admiring every detail and tiny feature.  But almost immediately the oddest feeling came to me: it was an urgency of some sort.  Something as if to say that my 3rd child knew he or she was next in line, and the feeling was that they were ready. Ready to come on down and join the family too.  I couldn't shake it for a while and I tried, after all I had a merely hours old newborn in my arms! 

That feeling has come to me countless times since Avett joined our family.  It has been the strangest thing.  But somehow I know it's real.  I know that when ever and how ever number 3 comes to be that it will be a long awaited arrival by us all.  

Truth be told I'm not sure why our next baby is taking some extra time.  I go through waves of not caring one bit to disappointment and a bit of sadness.  But truly when it comes down to it I have complete and utter faith that it will happen when and how ever it is supposed to.  John and I are both terribly busy now and as we've talked and talked about it it seems that all of this waiting could be a form of a blessing in disguise. 

So we will wait.

And trust.

And enjoy what we have now.

Because what we've got going on now is pretty wonderful.  

This past weekend was spent with my sisters family and their 4 week old Mason, who is just perfection. My children were all over him and wanting to help and snuggle and take in his sweetness just as much as I wanted to.

I do believe one of the best gifts you can give your children are siblings and I want so badly to give them more.  More opportunites to grown and love and help and serve.  

They will be fantastic when and if that day comes. Time will tell and in the mean time we will savor what we have right here and right now. 

having babies together

(They lined themselves up like this on their own...in birth order.)

Having babies with my sister is the best.  She and I have always been close but bringing our babies in to the world together has taken sisterhood to a whole new level.  Evaleigh and Parker are 3 months a part and Avett and Kate are 3 weeks and 3 days a part to the minute.  

3:23pm: how did we do that? 

I love being able to talk to her about teething and attitudes and sleep schedules.  Going through this stage of life while she is doing it too is pretty special.

At this point we think it would be weird to be pregnant without each other, so babies # 3 will probably take some strategic planning.  

We're so grateful that our husbands are close.  Sometimes she and I worry they are a little too close, perhaps they'll run off to Mexico together someday.  

It's a really cool thing when your family turns out to be your best friends.

the mark

Before I met John I was in the process of trying to put my mission papers in, for the second time (that's a story for another day).  I was also contemplating a masters program or trying to do some vocal studies overseas and pursuing an operatic career.  I had spent years and years of study in classical singing.  I had performed in countless operas and opera scenes, concerts, and recitals.  I performed in Atlanta, Boston, LA and Miami.  I even had the chance to sing on NPR when I was younger.  In my heart i'd like to think I was headed for something great.  I loved to sing, I was good at it, and it did something for my soul that nothing else could.

Getting married and starting a family was the last thing on my mind, I simply wasn't interested in it at that point in time.  I knew it would eventually happen for me but I wanted to go out in to the world and make my mark somehow.  

Then John Murphy came along and blindsided me and showed me all of the things I never knew I wanted and needed.  We got married, had a lot of fun, and a year later we found out we were pregnant with Evaleigh.  A year after she was born Avett was on his way.  

I've never once looked back at this life I was given. This life full of failed naptimes, temper tantrums, unexplainable diaper situations, crying, irrational requests, unwillingness to share, hurt feelings and eternal messes. It's also a life full of watching little people discover something for the first time and feeling pride for them in that moment.  A life of reaching out to hold Johns hand in the car when both of our babies are finally asleep on a journey home, and in that moment when I see him smiling back at me there is a sense of it all being right in our world.  A life of being beaten up and crawled all over just the moment I've laid down on the floor for a moments rest only to burst in to laughter because Evie is giving me raspberries on my belly and Avett is pulling incessantly at my hair.  

The three people who have made me a wife and mother have filled all of the inches I have inside of my heart right now. 

Just last Thursday I started jotting down my very first bucket list.   There are a lot of moments in my life where I get overwhelmed with all of the different things that I want to do and be.  But I've figured that the best thing I can do with my life now is raise up good and kind hearted people while loving my husband through it all.

That's sure to leave the mark I so craved before.  

colorful forks

My life is full of colorful spoons and forks and plastic dinnerware.   It is full of snack time, naptime, bath time, and outside time. It revolves around feeding little people by breast or bib or high chairs and many nights with my toddler on foot doing a 'run by eating'. 

The other day I was remembering when Evaleigh was only a few months old, maybe 3 or 4.  I was reminiscing about something I said to John.  It went something like this, "Wow, being a mom is so easy.  I mean, we are like really good at this whole parent thing.  We should probably have at least 10 more of these."  

Then some time passed and stages came and went.  There was separation anxiety and cry-it-out and napping troubles and sickness.  And then another baby came along and there was reflux and teething and sharing and tantrums and all sorts of things.  Now I say,  "Wow, being a mom is really hard.  We are constantly learning and trying to do the next day better than the one before."  I feel wiser and a bit more experienced and I feel like I've learned a lot about myself and these little people in the past 2 years and 4 months I've been at this.   I know there's so much more on the horizon to learn and I can wait for it but I look forward to it.

Tonight I put Evie to bed and she requested 1 song which turned in to 3, about 5 long hugs, and 7 long kisses.  Avett is just the best and loves to attack my face and pull my hair out.

Being a mother to my two babies is the coolest thing I've ever been a part of.  They love me and they need me and I need them. 

A very Happy 3rd Mothers Day to me indeed.

good days

During the day I find myself in the middle of doing some sort of mundane task.  

It could be loading the dishwasher and watching Avett smile at Evaleigh while she plays with playdough in her highchair.  

It could be playing outside and watching Evaleigh dunk her feet in the fountain with her socks still on.  

It could be a moment when I get distracted by something on my phone for a few minutes and then I look down to see Avett staring at me with bright eyes and a smile on his face watching my every move.  

It could be that long-awaited moment when John finally is done with work for the day and Evaleigh squeals for him to chase her around the living room, we all feel that same excitement, "Yay!  He is finally ours for the rest of the evening!"  

It could be the look John and I share when Evaleigh says something off the wall or makes a face we've never seen.

It could be laying in my bed and nursing our boy to sleep while I hear Evaleigh in the distance say "Ahhh" as she opens her mouth for John to brush her teeth and then I hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs as their voices fade softer and he carries her up to bed.  

It could be holding hands and falling on to the couch with John as we both let out a sigh once the babies are both asleep for the night.

These moments, however simple they may be, are the makings of good days.  I look around me and I know I am in them, the days I will look back on with warmth.  They are filled with so much love.  

I was having one of these moments last week when I had the children outside one afternoon. John was trying to fix our car for the 5th week in a row.  Evaleigh was in the big swing and I had Avett kicking on a blanket on the ground.  She was going as high as I could swing her and laughing and I just knew I wanted to remember that moment.  Sometimes when I'm having moments like that I close my eyes and say a quick prayer to God and ask him to help me to always remember that moment.  

Yesterday I was driving in the car by myself to get groceries.  My mother kept the children for me.  I rarely ever have time to myself where I can be quiet and think and just really talk to God like a friend.  So I just drove and prayed out loud.   I thanked Him for where we are in our lives right now.  I am so happy with my babies and my husband and our life together.  We are just where we should be and even though we are living somewhat of a penniless life right now, we are happier than we've ever been.  I wouldn't trade any wealth in the world for what we share.  I know these are the good days and I know there are many more to come.

good one

I cry a lot these days.  They are mostly all happy tears.  I can't imagine the day when I won't have babies in my arms and loads of tiny socks and burp clothes to wash.  I don't want those days to ever come.  All I want to do is be a good mother to my babies (with maybe a nap every once in a while.) There are so many moments when I pause to stop what I am doing because I am just so overwhelmed with how wonderfully full and busy and happy our life is right now.  I don't know how I am so fortunate to have two beautiful babies and a caring husband.  It is certainly not because of anything I did right.  I know I've made plenty of mistakes and all I can imagine is that it's because my Heavenly Father loves me so much.  

This life is a good one.