that felt good

Oh I love opera! I love it I love it I love it.  And I miss it.  

My mind races back to my college days quite often.  I loved learning and walking the streets of a busy city surrounded by tall buildings.  I loved learning how to manage my time and coping with the stress of long to do lists.  I was so excited and envigorated being surrounded by music in rehearsals, lessons, classes, and all of the concerts I attended.  

Music was one of my first great loves.  It is something that no matter what stage of life I'm in I want to be doing it in some capacity.  I have to.  Whenever I go long periods of time with out and then I come back I can't believe how starved I was for it.  

This weekend I got the opportunity to sing at a talent show.  Oh how it filled my heart with joy.  It was a simple low pressure situation and yet it felt so familiar and comfortable.  Although it took me a minute to settle down in to it.  Right around "felice mi fa" I let loose and just let it all soar right out of my mouth.  I've been singing this song since I was 12, which should not have happened but that is a story for another day! So it was nice to say hello to an "old friend".  I'm so grateful for a talent I hope to use for good all of my life. 

composer

I've been making good on our anniversary chat.  I've written several songs in the past few weeks and it feels so good to be creating.  I read a quote a long long time ago and it has always stuck with me. "Don't give up on something you can go a day without thinking about."  For me, that is music. 

I know music will always be a part of my life and I know that at different times of my life it will play different parts.  Teaching, performing, competing, writing, creating, singing in the living room to the sound of my husband playing Hannah. I love it all.

These days music is just coming out of me.  I sit down at my dads childhood piano and I can expel a song in about an hour, it's like they've just been waiting to get out.  I love this.

Tonight I finished a song call "tender mercy love". It's one of my favorites so far. I've always had a dream to write church music and now I'm doing something's to make it happen.  We will see what the future holds but what is coming out feels good and sounds good. 

i just want to bust it out

Yesterday I had the beautiful opportunity to join in with the Hotlanta Vocal Posse and sing parts from the Auratorio Americana by Stan Satlin.  It was at a Benefit concert to raise money to buy a piano for the Salvation Army School for the Blind in Jamaica.  It was pretty great, to say the least.  I love singing and I have missed it dearly.  I haven't had a voice lesson since Evaleigh has been born and I am so ready to get back.  

Lately I have just had to urge to belt out high opera notes at the top of my lungs!  I want to sing Je Veux Vivre or Glitter and be Gay and pour out my soul in my voice!  I want to sing high notes and feel the rush that only that vocal release and expression can give!  Its been bottled up for a little too long and yesterday shook me up and I am ready to let it out.

The beautiful part of it all was having my little family out there in the audience.  Evaleigh has been listening to this music since she basically existed.  I ran across this today in her journal.  The first time I ever felt her kick was while we were in the recording studio singing the very music we sang yesterday.

I loved looking out in the audience while we were rehearsing and seeing my sweet John bouncing Evaleigh in the baby Bjorn.  

It gave me tingles.

My father also came to the performance.  This morning I received this text message from him,

"I enjoyed being with you all yesterday. Thank you for singing again. That is what you are suppose to do along with being EJ's mom. I am glad you take her with you when you sing. She needs that from you always. I like it when she smiles at me. That gets her all the chili dogs and ice cream she wants."

I was made to sing. I love taking my little girl along with me and having her ears fed with beautiful inspiring song. She responds so much to music. I got my wish, she loves it just like me.

I just want to bust it out.

Right now.

But my baby is taking a nap so I will have to wait a little longer.

Su'll aria...che soave zeffiretto

I simply do not even know how to begin to talk about this past weekend in Miami.  

I feel absolutely overwhelmed with love and support. I have so many pictures and stories and feelings.

I was meant to meet Rima.  

We are meant to be friends.  

I am meant to listen to her beautiful wisdom.

I had no idea what to expect from this past weekend but it filled my heart and touched my soul.

I had so many burning questions answered and I feel a renewal of my love for my talent.

I love falling in love with music over and over again.

 (me, French Soprano-Rima Tawil, and the conductor Lynn Luce at curtain call)

 (Dr. Mom (Lynn Luce) and me at the reception after our Saturday performance)

(the Ars Flores Symphony Orchestra and Rima)

(Saturday performance)

(Countess and Susanna)

(The most wonderful people I know.  They are my heart. Mom, Dad, me, Husband)

(courtesy of husband's iPhone)

I performed with the Ars Flores Symphony Orchestra in the Miniaci Center in Fort Lauderdale on Saturday.  Then we performed in Miami Beach at the Colony Theater on Sunday.  Rima and I sang the Mozart duet Sull' aria from The Marriage of Figaro.  

It was magic.

I am still processing the whole weekend.

I am speechless, maybe I can form better thoughts tomorrow.

Don't forget your underwear

Why does it always seem that we overbook ourselves during the most busy weeks?

Yesterday during the throws of an allergy attack I took a Zyrtec because I was desperate.  

I don't take medicine.  I don't like it.  Mostly because I had pills shoved down my throat for all of my childhood because I suffered from a BAD case of ADD.........................shiney thing.......la la la...la la la la la....la...........la......................la la.

Ok, back to blogging.

So, yesterday after the Zyrtec, I felt like the walking dead.  I literally almost fell asleep while teaching a piano lesson yesterday.  That poor student, I may have drooled on little Ben Fritz.

Today I have a ZYRTEC HANGOVER. A bad one.  I have a million and one things to do but no energy to do it. HMPF.  

Our flight to Miami leaves early tomorrow morning.  My mom, dad, and John and I will be there all weekend as I will be performing with the Ars Flores Symphony Orchestra and Rima Tawil.  We are staying in a hotel on the beach.

HUZZAH! 

I hope I remember my underwear while I'm packing.  

I'm never taking pills again.

LA in May

I hope Los Angeles is nice in May because that is where we will be.

Yesterday I won a competition to be a finalist in the Classical Singer Vocal Competition.

Since we will be "pretty close" to Mexico we are just going to go ahead and hop on down to Hermosillo, which is where John served his mission and lived for two years of his life.  I can't wait to see it all.

This means that the hubs and I will be spending our one year anniversary in Mexico.

I just had an excitement spasm.

1, 2, 3 easy as ATC

A couple of weeks ago I spent the week in the atrsy, funky and eclectic little town of Savannah.  

I was "sans husband" until Thursday.

We learned that we both don't sleep too well without the other one and that a queen size bed feels a lot bigger when you are the only one in it.

Thank goodness for over-sized pillows that act as a double for my giant of a husband.  I'm a snuggler when I sleep.  That poor pillow...

I went down to Savannah because I had been accepted to compete in the American Traditions Competition for singers.  

It was a week long competition full of concerts, rehearsals, sound checks, master classes, friend making, sight seeing, boat riding, and yummy food tasting.

This was really the first competition that I have done outside of college.  I was so happy to have been singing alongside such wonderfully talented singers.  I felt completely honored to have been chosen for the competition.

When we first arrived we had a reception at the Cupcake Emporium in Wright Square.  It was dangerous because we were given free reign to eat all of the free cupcakes we wanted. 

"Oh, sweet salted caramel cupcake get back in my mouth!!"

One day I had some free time, so I went over to try out my best friend's brothers's new restaurant.  They just opened next to SCAD's biggest building.  

The night before I received a phone call from a number I didn't know.  I love answering unknown numbers and it always makes me giddy because I get a small thrill from not knowing who is on the other line.  It was Lisa's brother Patrick who invited me to come to his restaurant.  

So I did. 

And I did not regret it.

Once my family arrived we took a walk down River Street. Our eyes feasted on the treats of River Street Sweets.  We had free pralines and taffy.

I was quite proud of how I sang.  I was one of the youngest people in the competition and I feel so proud of how I represented myself.  

I love singing so much.  

I love the thrill of being someone else for a few minutes and feeling what they would feel.  

I love giving every ounce of myself to make art.

I was so thankful to have been supported by a loving husband and my family.  So many people came down and made me feel so loved.  I am proud to have the family I do.

Look what I did!

I have finally found freedom. 

I can not believe that I, Rachel Murphy, hold a college degree.  Is it really over?  

I keep having a small fear creep up from the pit of my stomach that GSU will contact me and say that I still have to take something like Basket Weaving, or Women's Studies.

*SHUDDER*

I am done. Completely and wonderfully done. 

As I sit here and contemplate the last five years (yes five...i'm a little slow) I am filled with so many emotions.

It feels good and I am proud. 

Especially with this hunk by my side.

I was asked to sing the Alma Mater at my graduation.  

This was a pretty big deal because my graduating class was 2,500 students and the crowd that day was expected to be 

15,000 people.

Yeah.  

That may have been the largest group I have ever sung for.

Graduation was held at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta.  It is where the pro football team, The Falcons, play.  The only thing missing was a face microphone and I would have felt like I was Britney Spears singing at the half time show for the super bowl. Minus all the overt trashiness of course.  I wanted to break out in a Ludacris song when I was standing on the 50 yard line...maybe I did.

My favorite memory from the whole day was when they asked all of the graduate's parents to stand. I had located my family with no problem, even in the crowd of 15,000, because of my mother's glorious and glowing white hair.  

When they asked the parents to stand to be congratulated for all of the hard work they had done as well, I saw my parents high five each other from a distance. They are so cool.  

I think out of everyone there, they were the most happy and proud parents.  I am so lucky to have had them to be my rocks as I went though college.

So, what now?

I am overjoyed about being able to dig in to what being a wife is really all about.

I am going to cook meals and actually do our laundry now.  

My poor husband has had to suffer more than anyone could possibly know because of my lack of devotion to our dirty clothes.  He never even complained about it once.

I am going to have FHE every Monday.

I am going to read for fun.

I am going to keep a clean home.

I am going to read my scriptures more.

I am going to make healthier choices.

I am going to compete.

I am going to perform.

I am going to teach piano and voice.

I am going to use my degree.

I am going to be a singer.

All beacause you laughed in your sleep

 Dear Husband,

Tonight I may have gotten a little mad at you.  And it may or may not have been caused by a certain syndrome that seems to come around every month.  

I was so perturbed that I lay in bed completely restless and disturbed.  I was determined to stay mad at you, even though really you had done nothing wrong.

Then something magical happened...

You laughed in your sleep.

I looked over at you and you had the most beautiful smile on your sleeping face.  Even though I was brimming with unreasonable anger I forgave you for the things you didn't even do right then and there.

You see, you are a pretty wonderful guy and we don't ever fight but I've been feeling so touchy lately.

Maybe it's the fact that graduation is 4 weeks away and I have so many obstacles looming over my head.

Maybe it was a little bit that I really wanted to snuggle and watch Toy Story 3 tonight. (Even though I enjoyed Forrest Gump)
And maybe it was the fact that tonight you said my chest skin looked leathery.

Anyway...here is my peace offering.  

I was so inspired by your magical slumber induced giggle that I had to come in here and do this for you. I love you.

Love, Your Wife

P.S. I hope you remember what you were dreaming about so we can laugh about it together in the morning.

Let's Review

Oh my. 

Has it really been a week?

We have been quite busy.  So much has happened.  I have been swamped with trying to...you know....graduate...from that crazy thing called college.  Oh, no big.

  I'm just a little freaked out that in just 6 short weeks I will be wearing blue and black and that funny square shaped hat and I will be singing the Alma Matter in the Georgia Dome for my very own college graduation. *gulp* Can this be?

This picture was taken on the first day of my freshman year of college. I was in front of the School of Music with some of the loveliest of people.  I remember feeling so mature and proud of who I was becoming.  Was I REALLY living on my own?  Could I really make my own schedule?  I had the chance to be who ever I wanted.

I went to college as a vocal performance major doing classical opera.  That means a lot of singing.  A. LOT.  I couldn't wait to grow and learn and soak up whatever I could about music.

Being in the city made me feel brave and strong.  I felt the comfort of the tall buildings around me and the vibrations of the energy of the city.  It was bliss, because despite growing up in the country, I had always been a city girl at heart.

I remember my freshman year of college with this lady as my roommate.  Although we had gone to high school together, our bond solidified in college.

We used to watch the Food Network laying in Jessi's twin dorm room bed and I would lay my head on her chest and she would play with my hair.  We had a passion for Project Runway and Wing-nuts.  I don't know that I have had many people love me as much as she has.  I have felt unwavering love and support from her throughout my life.  When I gave my Senior Voice recital, there she was in the crowd with tears in her eyes, she has always believed in my talent even when I have not.

This is how I spent my college years.  Get ready for a PLOG to the extreme!

Choir with Doctor Raines.  That was the only year that it was genuinely fun for me.  That man knew how to bring a piece to life and push it deep in to your soul.  I've always wondered what has become of him since he left after my freshman year.

a benefit concert I gave

Albert Herring

"Blimey jelly, pink blamanche, seedy cake, seedy cake with icing ooooo on."

opera scenes...who knows what this one was, I think I did about 50.

Choir Tour Sophomore Year.  I remember I didn't shower that morning...

the weirdest thing I have ever been in.

We were asked to do the World Premiere of Milton Granger's "Bluebeard's Waiting Room".  It was a 7 woman opera...it was estrogen to the extreme.

We flew to LA to premiere it in front of the National Opera Convention.  At 19, I felt on top of the world.

Getting ready for my Junior Recital.  

Oh the BUTTERFLIES WERE SWARMING MY TUMMY!

Despite what my sister may say about disliking my singing (because she has heard it her whole life) she always seems to know all of my lyrics better than me.  I know she secretly loves it.

Understudy for Cunegonde

Kaitlyn's beautiful Savannah Wedding

A new stop in the road: Opera on Tap

My FINAL RECITAL.  My mother made my dress.  It was the practice dress before she made my wedding dress.  Other than my voice teacher, I learned the most from this guy, Dr. Marshall.  I love that angry little man, what a genius.

As my years of college come to a close I hear the same question over and over again, "So. what's next?"  

Really...

I have no clue.  

But I am so excited to make my own path doing what I love to do and I'm going to try my best at it.  I feel so blessed to have been touched by all of my friends and teachers in college.  There have been times when I have felt completely and utterly incapable and there have been times when I leave the classroom feeling over-the-moon happy, elated, and fulfilled.

"Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study.  Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life."  

~Henry L. Doherty