Last weekend I had the opportunity to speak alongside my friend Jenn Mack at the Atlanta Stake "Women Who Care" conference. Our topic was "It's your divine nature, own it!". Here is a 40 minute excerpt from the conference, the last 5 minutes included the song that Jenn and I wrote for the conference. The first 10 minutes are missing in which we took one big group selfie and talked about the things we see when we look our physical selves and then we imagined what our "spiritual selfie" would look like, or how we look to our Heavenly Father. After our song we both bore our testimonies and those are missing too but I'm so glad we have the middle documented, it was such a sweet experience to look in to the eyes of those young women and seeing them soaking in the message. The spirit was so strong in that room. I love sharing the gospel and testifying of its truths.
I wanted to share a little bit of the story behind this song. I think it is the kind of song that could mean something to anyone who hears it. We all have mountains to climb and whatever the mountain is that you have to climb wether it is a personal trial, repentance, an addiction, self doubt, loss of a loved one, or just something hard in your life that makes you feel like you have no idea how you'll make it through, I hope this song can give you a glimpse of hope and the source that you should look to for help.
You are not alone.
You don't have to do anything alone.
Jesus Christ is the way, he will always be the way.
I wrote this song recently for someone very close to me who is facing the biggest trial they have ever had to face. I've never known anyone in my life to ever display more faith than this person and they are such an enormous example to me of how to face our trials and challenges.
Ascend
Standing here and looking at the top.
Knowing that you have to climb.
You fill your lungs your feet hit the dirt.
In motion pushing every stride.
And when you feel that the step you take is the last one you can bear.
A burning and a feeling He is pushing you there.
The higher you climb the more burdens you unload so you can ascend.
You turn to look behind you
And He is carrying them.
Blisters sting the sun is beating down.
Breathless gasping in your chest.
Slipping sliding trying to hold on.
A strength emerges just beyond your own.
And when you feel that the step you take is the last one you can bear.
A burning and a feeling He is pushing you there.
The higher you climb the more burdens you unload so you can ascend.
You turn to look behind you
And He is carrying them.
Climb, climb, climb.
Standing here and looking at the top.
You never knew how far you'd come.
(Disclaimer: sorry for the crazy eyes in parts, it's a habit I'm trying to break. So proceed with some non judgemental caution, Ha!)
I've been making good on our anniversary chat. I've written several songs in the past few weeks and it feels so good to be creating. I read a quote a long long time ago and it has always stuck with me. "Don't give up on something you can go a day without thinking about." For me, that is music.
I know music will always be a part of my life and I know that at different times of my life it will play different parts. Teaching, performing, competing, writing, creating, singing in the living room to the sound of my husband playing Hannah. I love it all.
These days music is just coming out of me. I sit down at my dads childhood piano and I can expel a song in about an hour, it's like they've just been waiting to get out. I love this.
Tonight I finished a song call "tender mercy love". It's one of my favorites so far. I've always had a dream to write church music and now I'm doing something's to make it happen. We will see what the future holds but what is coming out feels good and sounds good.
John came home after school with lilies in hand and an anniversary gift. He said, "I've written you a poem. Do you want to read it or do you want me to read it for you?" Of course I opted for him to read it. "It's meant to be funny but It also might make you cry." He sure knows me, I cry a lot and this was no exception.
"Of the 5 years we've complied.
There are two things which make me smile.
1st being the children you've baked.
2nd of course the music we make.
So, here's to 60 more together.
Full of songs that last beyond forever."
I looked at him with tear brimmed eyes and lept up to wrap my arms around him. "I love it!!" Then he handed me a leather sketchbook and a beautiful pen for us to write our songs in.
Since yesterday I've already written one song and I can't wait to fill it up with more.
