With the imminent arrival of this new little person coming to our family my thoughts have been filled with the anticipation of change.
I have felt so nervous about how I will ever make room in my heart to love another baby as much as I love Evaleigh. Since I have become her mother I have experienced this intense love like nothing I could have ever imagined. It has taken a space in my heart so large that I just can't fathom there being room enough for another. I was talking to my sister-in-law the other day about these exact feelings and she knew just what I meant. She has four children and she said with each new pregnancy she felt the same way and wondered how she could love someone new just as much. I loved the way she explained it and its exactly how I feel right now.
She said preparing for the next baby is like going on a blind date.
I wonder every day what it will be like. Will he like me? Will we bond right away? What will we have to talk about? There are just so many unknowns. I just don't even know. This pregnancy has been so different because I have been swept up in my Evaleigh's every move. I am so busy soaking in the last bits of her only childness. I haven't had the belly rubbing daydreaming time that I had with EJ which has somehow caused a bit of a disconnect with this pregnancy. There are days I don't even remember I'm pregnant til I lay down for the night and he starts kicking away.
The reality that we will have a newborn here in about 7 or 8 weeks is really starting to set in. I had a moment in church on Sunday where I was watching a family who have 4 and 2 year old girls and a 5 month old little boy. Those girls were all over that baby and I couldn't help but tear up. They were being little mommies to their baby brother trying to give him a bottle and hold him and my heart felt warm. I am grateful that Avett will have Evaleigh as a big sister and the thought of seeing her grow up with him makes that space in my heart seem a little more capable of stretching. Perhaps there will be plenty of room.
when i was having my second my mother-in-law told me my favorite thing ever about having more than one kid: "love grows exponentially." she said that your heart just expands and expands every time there is a new life and it's always amazing how much love there is to give. now that i have two, i totally agree!
i'm really excited for you. you will see how fun it is to compare and contrast your own little people, to see how alike and different they are at the same time. it's the best.