am I ready

As I lay in my bed with a few tears falling from my eyes trying to get a nap, Evaleigh is sleeping in the next room.  I just finished singing her to sleep, like I do every day, and I had a twinge in my heart.  I've been so caught up in wanting Avett to come lately.  Naturally with my body so pregnant I am constantly aware that he could come at any moment.  But as I sat in her nursery this morning I thought to myself, "Am I ready? Have I done everything with just her that I want to do?"  I can feel the change coming and somehow a little guilt has entered my mama heart.  I want to always remember the times when it was just the two of us.  I hope she knows how much being her mother has changed my life, my soul, and the very strands of my being for the absolute better.  What we have had and shared the past 20 and a half months has been the most lifting and fulfilling experience.  I am really happy to meet Avett and to bring him in to our family and I've been told that it only gets sweeter and sweeter, but today I enjoyed watching her fall asleep to the sound of my voice while knowing that she was my only care in the world.