the mark

Before I met John I was in the process of trying to put my mission papers in, for the second time (that's a story for another day).  I was also contemplating a masters program or trying to do some vocal studies overseas and pursuing an operatic career.  I had spent years and years of study in classical singing.  I had performed in countless operas and opera scenes, concerts, and recitals.  I performed in Atlanta, Boston, LA and Miami.  I even had the chance to sing on NPR when I was younger.  In my heart i'd like to think I was headed for something great.  I loved to sing, I was good at it, and it did something for my soul that nothing else could.

Getting married and starting a family was the last thing on my mind, I simply wasn't interested in it at that point in time.  I knew it would eventually happen for me but I wanted to go out in to the world and make my mark somehow.  

Then John Murphy came along and blindsided me and showed me all of the things I never knew I wanted and needed.  We got married, had a lot of fun, and a year later we found out we were pregnant with Evaleigh.  A year after she was born Avett was on his way.  

I've never once looked back at this life I was given. This life full of failed naptimes, temper tantrums, unexplainable diaper situations, crying, irrational requests, unwillingness to share, hurt feelings and eternal messes. It's also a life full of watching little people discover something for the first time and feeling pride for them in that moment.  A life of reaching out to hold Johns hand in the car when both of our babies are finally asleep on a journey home, and in that moment when I see him smiling back at me there is a sense of it all being right in our world.  A life of being beaten up and crawled all over just the moment I've laid down on the floor for a moments rest only to burst in to laughter because Evie is giving me raspberries on my belly and Avett is pulling incessantly at my hair.  

The three people who have made me a wife and mother have filled all of the inches I have inside of my heart right now. 

Just last Thursday I started jotting down my very first bucket list.   There are a lot of moments in my life where I get overwhelmed with all of the different things that I want to do and be.  But I've figured that the best thing I can do with my life now is raise up good and kind hearted people while loving my husband through it all.

That's sure to leave the mark I so craved before.