Next time

Next time we are back in Colorado we will have our sweet baby girl in our arms.  Talk about a reality check.  Our trip was pretty fantastic.  We enjoyed:

-the long car ride out (24 hours to be exact)

-countless potty breaks.  this preggy bladder can't hold much

-picnics at the park

-the constant wind in our faces.  it felt like we were at the beach the whole time

-giggling with the nieces

-home cooked meals by moms

-free adjustments at the chiropractor (by john's uncle...lucky us!)

-dreaming about the things we will do with our baby girl when we bring her out there for the first time

-holding puppies

-going antiquing and finding gorgeous vintage earrings

-visiting and laughing with family

-playing basketball with old friends (well that one was just John, I ended up taking a preggy nap on the couch while the boys played.  sometimes this babe just sucks it all our of me!)

-eating ranch curley fries and pizza burgers at BJ's in Lamar and ordering from the telephone in the booth

-our two year old niece walking around telling everyone she had a baby in her belly.

-the endless views

-the long car ride back (26 hours to be exact)  and finishing the 1st Harry Potter book together. 1 down...6 to go

-then finally getting back to sleep in our own bed.

mr. murphy received a haircut from his sister the day after this was taken. yippppppppppeeee

I am amazed at the beauty of this place every time we go out there.

I love the sound of "next time".....

Dear Photograph

Dear Photograph,

22 years ago my husband walked this road in Walsh, Colorado with his Grandpa John as a carefree little boy with his whole life ahead of him.

Today we are in that same small sweet town as two crazy-in-love and happily married people with a sweet little baby of our very own on her way.

We can't wait to show her this beautiful simple little town.  Life moves on in the most beautiful way.

Love, us

(this lovely idea from here)

It's a.......

Yesterday was magical to say the least.

We found out that we  are going to be parents to a daughter.

We are completely overwhelmed with JOY.

I will never forget the moment that Shannon, the ultrasound tech, said, "Alright Mom and Dad, are you ready to know what your child is?"  Then, "It's a girl" popped up on to the screen and I began to cry.  I looked over at my sweet John and he was smiling ear to ear.

We left with the biggest grins on our faces.  My cheeks hurt like it was our wedding day all over again, I couldn't contain my joy.

We made dozens of phone calls and sent texts and spread the news of our daughter.  She is already loved by so many people. The blessings that we are receiving through her are amazing.

I went to work and taught for 4 hours and could hardly concentrate I was on a high from the whole day.

When I came home my mother and sister surprised me and John with a beautiful dinner complete with everything pink! My mother set the table with a full vase of pink gladiolas.  We sipped on Raspberry Gingerale and talked about our new little person who will be joining our family in just a short time.

My sister used the linens that came from the old Oat House on The Murphy Ranch.  My MIL Kathy gave them to me last time we were down there.  They must have been 30 to 40 years old and in beautiful condition.  They were all pressed and ironed as perfectly as can be, my guess is that Granny Joy got a hold of them one day.  I can't wait to use them for parties and in my home someday.

Our little girl is coming to join us in January! We cannot agree on how to spell her name so for now we will call her Baby EJ.  I can't wait to kiss all of her fingers and toes.

i hate avacados but i love my baby

I love our life right now so much.

My little tummy is growing and more importantly the tiny human inside of it is growing too.

Today I feel as light as a cloud.  I feel refreshed from a good nights rest and my belly is warm and full with a morning bowl of Cream of Wheat topped with molasses.

I am anticipating tomorrow like it is Christmas.  Wait, no, better than that.  It's almost as good as our wedding day.  I think I might get up at 5 am and start getting ready for our ultrasound.  I can't wait to find out what our child is.  

It will change our lives no matter what.

If we have a son that will bring on a whole myriad of moments.

I'm not sure I would know what to do with a little boy because I have been surrounded by women my whole life.

An entire vision of moments pass through my mind though.

holding my little boy

kissing my little boy

watching him play with sticks and rocks and trucks

feeling so protective, as i know he would be a little daredevil

wiping his tears away when he falls down and scrapes his knees

watching John play with our son

teaching him how to ride a bike

saying "no" to playing video games a million times

watching him read his scriptures

having trouble waking him up early in the early morning and seeing his messy hair peek out from underneath his covers

watching him receive the priesthood

seeing him be a big brother to his younger siblings

sending him off on a mission

watching him return two years later and embracing him for 30 whole minutes

seeing him with his own children and wife as he follows the excellent example of his father

Then of course if we have a little girl my whole life would be full of different things too.  I can see her now with blonde bouncy curls just like I had.  Hopefully she has her father's luscious eyelashes and beautiful brown eyes.  My visions with this little girl are completely different.

watching this perfect little baby sleep

examining the beautiful lips that look just like her father's

seeing her discover new things

chasing her around as i know she will be full of more energy than i ever had

dressing her in beautiful little things

fixing her hair

kissing away her tears when she discovers that sometimes friends can be mean

teaching her about her individual worth

chatting about crushes and boys

helping her dress her body modestly

worrying all day about her driving around after getting a license

sharing soul touching conversations

laying in bed and playing with her hair as we talk about where to go to college

seeing her marry the man of her dreams in the temple

My mother took this video last night.  I am in my 17th week of pregnancy.  My voice is doing some weird things in the video, please know this isn't how I really talk.  I just thought I'd start the baby talk a bit early.

Dearest Baby,

Who are you?

We can't wait to meet you and let you in to our hearts.

Love, your Mama and Papa

a foot and a bum.

My mind is racing at the moment.  It is filled with warm thoughts of this child I am carrying.

I suppose it hasn't really hit me much until today that this is real, and even then I think I am grasping a tiny fraction of the reality of this situation.

Two heavenly things happened today.

This morning as I was in the shower I was running my hands over my little bump of a tummy and I felt something.  Something inside me changed.  It was as if my spirit was meeting my baby's spirit for the first time.  My spirit said "Hello."  and my baby's responded with joy.  I felt the bond I had been waiting to feel.  At 16 1/2 weeks pregnant I finally felt that moment I had been waiting for. I smiled as I knew things were going to different from here on.

(our baby's bassinet, a gift from my cousin)

Then around noon I went to visit a dear old high-school friend.  She is 37 weeks pregnant and her little boy Brady could come anytime now.  We sat around and talked about being pregnant and our feelings.  It felt so good to talk to someone who knew everything about this miracle that I am experiencing.  As we sat on the floor of her little boy's nursery my whole being was vibrating with excitement.  I couldn't wait to be in her shoes.  


We moved in to the living room and each had a snack.  Then I looked over at her and she was smiling down at her belly and told me that Brady was moving.  I asked her if I could feel him and she said yes.  So, I snuggled up next to her and her baby and felt the most miraculous thing.


A foot and a bum.


My eyes got huge and my mouth gaped open.  I don't remember ever feeling a baby move around like her was.  He was stretching his little feet and squirming around.  I almost teared up as I felt that little life move around inside of her.  I have only felt tiny flutters of my baby and I can't wait to feel it more.    


This pregnancy has been so easy so far.  I feel very lucky to have felt as well as I have.  We are slowly accumulating a few baby things around the house.  I'm sure after this Thursday's appointment baby prep will pick up a lot more around here.  I don't think I'll be able to resist going in to nesting mode right away.  


John and I go in two days to find out what we are having.  I have no idea what it is going to be.  But, it will be ours and it will be the most incredible little human we will ever meet.  I can't wait to feel little feet and a bum moving around in my tummy.

Plump and Juicy

This week I resumed some much needed baking.

Baking is like therapy to me.

Not to get all Julie and Julia here, but I love knowing that If I grab the right spatula its going to do exactly the thing that I want it to.

If I add a dash of vanilla to anything, it will instantly be delicious.

I love that the sound of the Kitchen-aid gearing up sends my heart pumping.

I love creating something outside of myself and then watching other people enjoy it.

Friday I went with my dear friend Lisa to pick berries at Adam's Farm. We went for the blackberries, which I came home with.  In addition to the 5 pints of blackberries I also got 6 pints of blueberries, local blueberry syrup and sweet and hot vidalia onion chow-chow!  I don't even know what it is but it looked snazzy, so I grabbed a jar.

(these are some of the fresh berries I picked with my own little hands)

As I was sitting underneath one of the blueberry trees with my berry filled bucket I was dreaming of jams, pies, homemade blueberry pancakes,and the look on John's face when I presented each of these items to him.

The farm was a magical place.  When the wind blew it carried sweet aromas of berries to my nose.  Although I must say, it felt like I was soaking in the fresh smell through every pore on my body.  It was early in the morning and the blueberry trees were still covered in their chalky white dew.  It was a dear time to me and I was taught something there in the blueberry trees.  

I had never seen the way that a blueberry tree was harvested before.  Each tiny berry had a stem of it's own and each tiny berry had to be picked on its own. I had always wondered why the price of berries was so high.  Its because each berry requires tenderness, caution, and individual care when it is plucked from the tree.  If not, they can be crushed when plucked in a bunch.  If not, they can fall to the ground when plucked in a bunch.  There was no fast and easy way for it to be done.  

It reminded me of the human soul.

We likewise, require so much personal love and attention.  We are all individuals that need to feel special.  We need to feel important.  Our price is so high because we are worth so much.  We have so much potential and promise.  I am so grateful for that lesson I learned there at Adam's Farm.

So, when I got home I decided to start with the Blueberry Pie since it wouldn't be my first rodeo with that.  I started making it last night around 9 o'clock and it wasn't finished til a bit after midnight.

I used this tutorial to do the lattice crust.  Next time I'll cut thicker strips but I still think it turned out great!

Speaking of plump and juicy, husband has been just that lately.  No, that's not a fat joke.  Since I have been preggs he has been an unusually and fantastically stellar hubs. Its amazing how our love continues to grow deeper and deeper.  I love marriage so much.  And blueberry pie...






***I have been overwhelmed with some incredibly sincere and soul-touching messages regarding my last post.  I can't tell you the good that they have all done to my heart.  I am so grateful for the love and support of the blogging community as well as my personal friends and family.  Please know that I will respond to each one of you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.***

Choosing Happiness

I am choosing to end a rut today.

I am choosing gratitude.

I am choosing happiness.

I have been horribly sad the past few months. I haven't talked about this much but 2 months ago in April, my parents divorced.  It was a huge surprise to me.  After 26 years of marriage everything came to an end.

It has been an incredibly difficult thing for me to wrap my head around.  I have spent many tear filled hours trying to understand why life turns out the way it does.

I suppose it all comes down to our choices.

We all have within ourselves the power to choose.  

I can choose to eat jello for all 3 meals of the day.  I can choose to go to the antique mall 3 times in one week.  I can choose to do my laundry or to let it sit.  I can choose to take 15 minutes to have a meaningful conversation with someone or I can let the moment pass me by.  I can choose to be happy or I can choose to give way to my negative emotions.

Today I am going to choose to be happy.

I am going to try to understand why the Lord has put me where I am at this time.  John and I have moved in with my mother to help her out during this hard time.  We are living the home that I grew up in. 

Even though we know this is where we are supposed to be right now, I haven't exactly been the easiest person to live with.

I have been sulking around and complaining that I don't have a place of my own.  I have felt like less of a wife.  I have been so much less productive.  I haven't been cooking or taking pride in my own little area of the house.  I have been sad to have left our friends and life in Atlanta.  I have been being so negative.

I can't believe how ungrateful I have been.

I need to focus on the blessings of this situation.

Because we are living here I am able to see my wondeful mother everyday.

Because we are living here we are living rent free.

Because we are here we are able to save money and work to get out of the small debts that we have.

Because we are living here we are able to enjoy candle lit evenings on the porch.

Because we are here we have a snugly puppy to make us laugh and smile.

Because we are here I can look in to the lightening bug glitter filled woods in our back yard.

Because we are living here it has become possible for us to have our baby!!

I am going to try to make this place my home again.  

I am going to reclaim my wifely duties and start doing the things that I enjoy again.

I am going to wake up each morning with a resolve to choose happiness.

(This picture really has nothing to do with this post except that John Murphy sure does make it easier to be happy.  That and we went to the Glenn Murphy Ranch last weekend for Father's Day.  I love my happy ranching husband.)

1+1=3 : The most magical of math equations

I haven't blogged in quite some time.  

I have been busy growing a tiny person.

John Murphy and I made a baby.

It is ours and that fact soothes my soul and vibrates my heart with love and gratitude every single day.

Last month after we came home from my brother's wedding in Hilton Head my sister and her husband were outside shooting off some illegal fireworks we had picked up in South Carolina.  I went up stairs to grab a hoodie, I got distracted, and for no particular reason...I decided to take a pregnancy test. (I had two boxes stored up in the bathroom for funsies)

When the digital test popped up "Pregnant", I almost fell off of the toilet. Literally.

The next few minutes were a blur.  I ran downstairs and beckoned John to come upstairs with me.  We both stood at the bathroom counter and stared at the test in silence.

I was totally shocked and also a bit skeptical.

We jumped for joy in the bathroom and embraced each other while we were full of smiles, some tears, and questions.  It was one of those moments that you could always imagine how it would feel but then when you are there, living that moment, it is so much better than you ever expected.

We kept it a secret for that night.  It was just between the two of us and I loved that.  I loved looking over at him in the room full of our family and him shooting me a smile.  I knew just what that smile meant, "We are having a baby.  We made something together. You are going to be a mother and I am going to be a father."  I will never forget that night.

Or course like any woman, I took about 6 tests to make sure.  I carried the tests around in my purse for 3 weeks and I would look at them almost any free moment I had. I know, I know....pee sticks in my purse? For 3 weeks?!

I can't wait to meet this little person.  

When I saw our babe's heartbeat for the first time, tears filled my eyes.  It is such a miracle to make something so special with the person you love the most in the whole world.

Here is baby's first film strip.  If you look close enough in the second picture you can see two little dots that are the arms and two little dots that are the feet. Oh, and a really huge head (I guess our baby is going to be super smart).  

It may look like a little smudge, but its the cutest little smudge I have ever seen.

I am so overwhelmed with joy right now. 
I'm growing a sassy little babe that I made with the man I love.

Happy Sunday/new buttons

Happy Sunday!  Church was fantastic today.  Our new congregation sure is putting us to work!  John gave an inspiring talk today and I sang "How Great Thou Art" for the special musical number.  We felt like rock-stars.

I have really been thinking a lot lately about consistent spiritual nourishment.  I wouldn't go a day without feeding my physical body so why do I sometimes neglect my daily spiritual appetite?
I really want to make it a goal this week to try and nourish my soul with positive things each day.  I want to check in with myself and make sure that I am really saying meaningful prayers.
I know that someday I am going to be given the incredible responsibility to teach my little children about Jesus Christ and I want to be better prepared to do so.
Life is so full of things we can spend our precious time on and I want to make sure I am using the gift of time to it's fullest.


Here's to a week of spiritual productivity and nourishment!


p.s. We have new buttons to go with the new layout here at T&S! Grab one if you'd like!

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...and just like that, a year went by.

Last night Mr. Murphy and I celebrated our one year anni with some beautiful music (and maybe a little slow dancing during one special song).

Last night we went to the James Taylor concert at Chastain Park.

I can't believe he is 63 and still rockin' it.

He is a faithful member of our record collection.

John surprised me with the tickets a few months back. 

We went bearing a picnic basket full of yummy treats and sparkling refreshment.  Nothing says sexy anniversary dinner like roasted pine nut hummus, tuscan flatbread, Publix Bakery cupcakes and cannolis(i don't really know how to pluralize that), chocolate covered strawberries, and Welch's sparkling grape juice from an Anthropologie tumbler.

A tear rolled down my cheek when James played, "You Can Close Your Eyes".  

Mr. Murphy and I have many songs and that is one of them.

One.

One year of my life has been spent loving and serving the most wonderful man I have ever met.

A year has come and gone.

I feel overwhelmed with emotions as I think of what this first year of marriage has brought us.  (I have already cried about it this morning.)  

I can truly say that this has been the best year of my life.  

I am so thankful to God for putting John and I together. My life has been enriched and full of joy.  

I have loved becoming a wife.  

It is a sacred role that I deem most important.

Our first year of marriage was full of many smiles, laughs, and tears.  It was full of intimate moments laced with love and tenderness.  It was full of honesty, hilarious moments, and lots of food and music.  Most of it was spent in apartment 133 at Wood Creek, though we have said goodbye to that place now.  I will never forget living there and feeling that sense of, "Look what we've created together.  Everything in here belongs to us.  We built a home together."

I have loved learning how to share my life and soul with another.  I have given this man all that I have and it is something that I never regret, not even for a moment.

I feel that I have been given the divine task of being a wife to John Murphy and I know that I am the one who got a better deal.

I am enlightened each day with his patience, selflessness, and kindness towards me.

A part of me is so sad to close the chapter of our first year together.  

I know that the future has a thousand glorious surprises for us.

My heart is so full it may burst.

Happy one year anniversary to the man who made me a wife.

make our garden grow.

We are putting in a summer garden.

I am dreaming of juicy BLTs with home grown Better Boy Tomatoes and delicious fresh summer salsa. I can't wait to get these little guys in the ground.

John and mom tried to till the ground this weekend but every piece of machinery decided to quit working.

So, they will try again soon.

our new home.

Want to know a secret?

We have moved.

This is our new home.

We have made the switch from city dwellers to country folk.

We went from a tiny, noisy, cozy one bedroom city apartment to a beautiful country home on a little farm.

We have a John Deere tractor, a red barn, horses to look at, and lovely neighbors.

Life is changing.

I have been thinking a lot about change lately.

You know the saying, "There is nothing as constant as change."

I am beginning to understand that the older I get the truer I am finding that it becomes.

I remember growing up and having expectations for what my life might be like. I had goals and plans and thoughts as to what I would do.

I am realizing that the only expectation we should have is to be happy.  Rather to make happiness for ourselves.  Life is never really how you expect it to be.  The surprises make it exhilarating but we should always prepare ourselves against the storms of life.  We should guard ourselves with the assurance of knowing who we are and Who's we are.

We are going through a storm right now.  

We are trying to be there for our family in a time of need and we hope that we can bring joy in to this new home.  We will be living with my mother for some time and it will be a positive thing for us all.

"oh, hey there mister murphy."

our new roomie :)