a night that reminded me

This past weekend was a great chapter in my story.
I went to the Atlanta Symphony with my Father.  
It was a night I will never forget.  
The past few months I have been increasingly aware of how much my soul is hungering for music.  I knew there was a hole inside of my heart that wasn't being filled and it was causing an ever so slight pain that would rip through me every once in a while.

Friday night my heart was renewed.

We got to the Arts Center and on the stage I saw my former vocal coach from college who is the pianist for the ASO.  My mind instantly flooded with warm and tender moments of music that we made together.  Some of my most sacred musical moments happened in his small 8th floor office overlooking the streets of Atlanta.  He is a tough and brilliant man.  A man that I was once intimidated by but because of him I am a better person.  A man who was hard on me because he believed in me.  There is nothing but admiration and love in my being for him and I honor him.  I walked to the edge of the stage and the moment our eyes met I saw his face soften and he said my name.  He stooped down and we clasped hands and exchanged in conversation.  I was holding some of the most talented hands I know and I was grateful to see him again.

I went back to my seat and sat next to my father in anticipation of the beginning of the concert. The stage was an ocean of performers.  The lights dimmed and the orchestra began to play.  
The strings pierced my heart and instantly I felt something. 
I closed my eyes and the choir joined in.  Tears welled up concealed behind my eyelids, my breathing deepened.  
It was like I was hearing music for the first time and I couldn't keep the dam from bursting.  Trails of tears blazed my cheeks one after another.  

I longed to be on that stage.  A twinge of regret coursed through my body and I was painfully reminded of my talent.  I missed being a part of something bigger than my self.  I missed my life as a performer and a singer.  I thought of my voice.  

I listened and I was lifted to a higher place.  It was a place that you can only go to through music.  I took in every moment of that evening and every one of my pores soaked in the music traveling through the air.  I experienced one of the moments that you live your whole life for.  I was taken away and my soul left my body and went on stage, or maybe to heaven...I'm not sure.

After that night this is what I was reminded.

I still have songs to sing.
I still have stories to tell.
I still have ears to reach.
I still have hearts to touch.
I still have dreams to live.

Here is a song from that night.


Jeans and a Teacup said...

I know how you feel! I'm a trained musician - I got my Masters in clarinet performance over 2 years ago but haven't really done much with music since I got married and moved to California. And every time I hear an orchestra or choir live I have to hold back tears because it is so beautiful and I start to realize that I really miss it! Unfortunately, there are not many opportunities to perform and I'm still trying to figure out how to keep music in my life in some way.

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